Happy Birthday, Jon

Author: Sven Rafferty
Monday, March 31, 2003

Hey, hope you got that R32, dude! Happy birthday!


4 Responses to “Happy Birthday, Jon”

  1. Jon Says:

    Thanks for the birthday wishes. The R32 was in my driveway today as you promised. Me and the Dell computer were both like “sweeeet”, and we went to hop in for a ride to the local French shop to buy some more “no blood for oil” t-shirts. So just as the Dell Dude and I make a move for the R32, Saddam and Bin Laden show up, slapping fives and lobbing chemical weapons and suicide bombers at us. Saddam was even throwing anodized aluminum tubes that he said were leftover from his scrapped nuclear reactor project. He mentioned he was inches from completing it in his mobile, underground lab, but he couldn’t get the air-powered suicide door openers to work right. Dell dude was all “whoa” and I started protesting while eating some french fries. “Give peas a chance” I said, as I sprinkled some peas on my french fries. Just then Martin Sheen, the President, showed up wearing a Goerge Bush mask and began to liberate us from our oppressors. He said it was called “Operation R32 Freedom.” I thanked him for fighting for my freedom of speech, while at the same time criticizing him for using violence. I reminded him about peas. Dell Dude was all “I’m confused, I thought Bush was the bad guy…” No, Dell Dude, you’re stoned, it’s Sheen, er, Bin Laden, er, Saddam, er, oil, er the military, er, peas. Then the R32 spoke and said that the enemy was SUVs. Dell Dude was really confused by then, and called Dell to order another laptop. We finally made it into the R32. I started it up and put the AWD into action, making a safe getaway with just a few cuts and scratches. Dell Dude looked at a cut on my arm and scolded me: “Dude, no blood for oil!” Operation R32 Freedom was a success, and we made it to the French shop for our protesting supplies, making sure to ignore the newspaper headlines on the way. What a crazy day.

  2. svenrox Says:

    Dude, that is the most amazing story I’ve ever heard. I can’t believe you put peas on your fries! Wow!

    BTW, you are a great writer! :)

  3. Jon Says:

    Thanks, but it’s not nearly as creative as the “12 things to consider…” Now that’s almost abstract!

  4. Jon Says:

    whoops…meant “10 things to consider…”