Archive for the 'Humor' Category
Azure Talon Software has launched version 2.0 of its popular iLaugh jokes database for iPhone and iPod touch users. With iLaugh on-hand, iPhone and iPod Touch users no longer have to rely on their memories to come up with hilarious jokes at the office or social events – or even when needing something clever to say to begin a speech or presentation. iLaugh 2.0 puts a database of over 50,000 jokes at anybody’s fingertips and is loaded with social features such as voting, favorites and sharing via Facebook and Twitter.
With iLaugh, users have complete control over which jokes they want to read. The Categories feature enables users to only read the jokes that are of interest to them. Further, iLaugh 2.0 offers filtering options to screen out adult jokes or jokes voted down by the iLaugh community.
“People need a good laugh these days, and my hope is that iLaugh will offer the humor our customers need when they need it the most,” said Kenneth Ballenegger, CEO of Azure Talon Software. “With such an enormous collection of jokes combined with features that make it a snap to share your favorites, iLaugh is clearly the most polished jokes application on the market.”
iLaugh comes in two editions: a free yet feature-rich “Lite” edition which is supported through non-intrusive ads, and an advertising-free “Premium” edition which gives users double the voting power on which jokes are jokes are hot and which are not. This version is available for the introductory price of $0.99.
A selection of joke categories includes:
* Bar Jokes
* Chuck Norris Facts
* Yo Mama!
* Pick up lines
* Bash.org IRC quotes
System Requirements:
* iPhone or iPod Touch 2.0 minimum
Pricing and Availability:
iLaugh 2.0 for iPhone is only $0.99 (USD) for a limited time only and available exclusively through Apple’s App Store. iLaugh Lite is free and also available at the App Store. For more information about iLaugh, visit its website at www.ilaughapp.com. Azure Talon Software’s website is www.azuretalon.com.
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’ ‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’ A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’ Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definately be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
(‘el computador’), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Having just finished my PB+J (Jif and grape) sandwich, I had to share this comic Shane sent me months ago. It was on my MacBook Pro and I forgot all about it until I backed it up last week before dusting it and re-installing Leopard on it.
Anyway, this comic totally made me LOL (for real!). You’ll have to be using that thing called the CLI (command line interface) in either UNIX (you OSX users) or Linux to get this. I can’t tell you how many times a day I try to do something on my Mac in Terminal and I get the dreaded “you’re not important enough for me to listen to” error. It’s almost to the point I’m prefacing every command with sudo now. 
Ya, I know, dangerous, but it still prompts for the password at least.
Enjoy the joke and if you know if more geeky jokes like this, let me know in the comments.
Okay, we usually do not go down this road, but when I saw a little boy doing a Number 1 in a moving clowns face, well, I just couldn’t resist sharing. So the next time you go to Osaka, Japan, you’ll know what to expect when you go to the Little Boys Room.
The more and more I reflect on the seventies, the more I am glad I was only but a child and have room for excuse for my actions. Others are not so fortunate.
Quinn Martin has found a collection of photos from the seventies as well as some spanning to the early nineties. Apparently, those from the later years have not learned from the mistakes of their forefathers. Tisk, tisk.
Martin’s collection of photos from Olan Mills, Sears, and other mall professional houses of photography will have you cracking up. One of my favorite, shown here for your enjoyment, has the caption reading, “Hiroshima, 1945. The last known photo of Kelli and Senor Loco“. The picture above it is of a young man, maybe a high school senior, with the caption stating, “I got a 20 that says he drives a Camaro.” One look at this kid and you’ll agree!
Take a look at the rest of the photos and enjoy saying goodbye to 2007 with a good chuckle. We’ll be back in full swing January 2nd with our Macworld predictions and CES coverage in the coming week. 2008 is sure to be interesting and I hope you’ll be here with us to experience it together.
See you at Macworld!
Thanks, Fletch, for the link.
If you’re a command line usin’ sys admin that works with any variant of UNIX, you’ll all get a kick out of this comic.
Thanks, Shane!
What’s being called this centuries Windows ME, Bill Gates will be happy to officially leave the company he co-founded with the award of “Top ten terrible tech products” by CNET. Keen to the fact that Microsoft took six years – SIX YEARS folks! — to develop this operating system upgrade it should have just been so much more than it turned out to be. From incompatibility hardware woes to constant warning boxes that must be acknowledged to the sell-out to Hollywood with DRM-everywhere, Vista is in CNET’s words, “terrible technology”. My favorite quote from the article:
Any operating system that quietly has a downgrade-to- previous-edition option introduced for PC makers deserves to be classed as terrible technology.
The funniest thing about this is I’ve had customers already perform this on their newly purchased laptops after “a day of hell with Vista”! Even funnier is the various versions you can buy of this horrendous release and just how much they all cost you.
Man, Microsoft, you REALLY missed the boat on this one. Six years!! HAHAHAHA. Put down the X-Box controller and start working!
Hehehe. You’ve got to love what the dollar can buy you. Apple purchased a spot on the main Vista page of CNETs site to place a very amusing Flash advertisement that uses two banner ads that work together. You find PC and Mac in one banner looking up at another a yet to be lit board with some words on it. PC attempt to get all the lights to brighten the message, “Don’t give up on Vista”, yet things just don’t seem to work out that way. Stop by and see for yourself. Pretty funny.
So Microsoft, whatcha gonna put on the Apple page? The gloves are off!
Everyone gets meatloaf (spam from friends and family) that consists of jokes embedded in a hundred e-mail enclosures because AOL still doesn’t get how to forward a message. Sometimes, though, some meatloaf has some worth and today I got one that really made me chuckle (CIMS: Chuckle In My Seat.) There was another one that read “Forgive Your Enemies – It Messes with Their Heads” that got an LOL.
Anyway, thought this was somewhat on topic and it cracked me up so I thought I’d share the love.
In celebration of my birthday today, I thought I’d present you with this joke. I figure as I’m approaching 40 more and more than ever, this would be fitting, because to me, it really is a joke that I’m almost 40. I can still remember freaking out about hitting 30. Boy, would I love to have that back…but then again, I’ll be saying the same thing about 40 when I hit 50, too.
Anyway, yes, you could say “I’m” the butt of this joke here, but I’ve always said, if you can’t make fun of yourself, then you’re not funny. Enjoy.
Sven and Ole worked together in a Minnesota factory and both were laid off… Sooo…dey went to the Unemployment Office togedder.
Asked his occupation, Ole said, “Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.”
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week in unemployment compensation.
Sven, when asked his occupation replied, “Diesel Fitter”. The clerk looked up Diesel Fitter and it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation.
When Ole found this out, he was furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits.
The clerk explained, “Panty Stitchers are unskilled labor and Diesel Fitters are ski! lled la bor.”
“Vat skill? yelled Ole. “I sew da elastic on da panties. Sven puts dem over his head and says, “Yah,…………… DIESEL FITTER”.