Yesterday we went to the Jo Jo’s to celebrate Sarah’s 4th birthday. We all a great time and when the day winded down to dinner, Joshua said a couple of things that cracked me up.

The first thing he said was to Uncle Pa. Pa had the cake flat and was about to send it to the fly heaven of the land of the trash can and he asked if anyone wanted another piece of cake before he did. Joshua said he did. Uncle Pa asked, “Do you have a plate?” Joshua responded, “Yes.” Uncle Pa saw none around and questioned again, “Where?” Joshua’s reply was simply, “I don’t know.”

Okay, fast forward a bit to when I walk by him at the table and I see his water bottle on the ground spilling out it’s contents. I ask Joshua, “Joshua. Is that your bottle on the ground?” He tells me it isn’t. I ask him, “Then what’s that next to your foot on the ground?” He looks down and says, “My bottle.”

Don’t you love kids? Too funny.

Yesterday Liz wasn’t feeling too good and went outside to get some fresh air. She asked if I could get her a bowl because she felt as if she was going to throw up. I brought one out to her. The kids asked what the problem was and I told them that mommy wasn’t feeling good and she may throw up. They weren’t quite sure what that all meant and just watched. Within a few minutes, their short attention span drew them to playing and on with their usual activities. But then Joshua remembered something and started running up the stairs. I asked him what he was doing and he responded, “I want to see mommy throw up!” I told him that she wasn’t upstairs but outside to which he immediately turned around and literally ran to the family room to peer out the door to see if she was going to throw up! It was if he turned this into a sport of some sort. What kind of boy — oh, ya, he’s a boy.

I won’t go into details after this but only to say Joshua got his wish soon after. Today we were at the car dealer picking up Liz’s truck from it’s free oil change and Joshua told me, “I want to see mommy throw up, again.” Ya, that’s my boy! )

Originally posted on The Dad’s Group

One essential office tool for any small business is the shredder. A cross-shredder is the best and one that can eat DVD/CD’s and credit cards is preferred. Well I have such a beast and it is an awesome piece of work and I love it. From time to time, I let the kids help me shred all my White Water documents, er, advertisements and credit card applications.

Tonight, I had only one item to shred and I gave it to Katelyn to feed into the black housing of the metal teeth of death. Joshua was very excited when he heard the gears go and the paper get shredded and quickly grabbed the first thing he saw on my desk. Before I finished yelling, “JOSHUA!!” it was but confetti for a New Years Day parade. I couldn’t believe it, he had just shredded a $135 check.

Me being me, I freaked out and was yelling, “How could you do that?!” to my poor two-year-old son. He was stricken with fear because his beloved daddy was acting like a stupid brute and if it wasn’t for his sweet mommy to come rescue him, I would have driven him to complete tears.

After Liz helped me regain my sense and point out he is, you know, two, I was able to hold him and apologize. We talked about what happened and we then were up and laughing within a few seconds. Everything was fine…but not fixed. I still had a shredded check.

I made the call to the customer and asked if I could ask them an embarrassing question and they said, cautiously, sure. When I requested they cut (no pun intended) another check due to my sons handy work, they pleasantly laughed and said sure. Twenty minutes later, I had a new check.

Why I lost it, I don’t know. That was stupid. My son is way more worth then $135 and I should have just realized that he did it only because he was sooo excited to join in on the fun. I killed that fun instead of just going, “Ooh Joshua! You just shredded daddy’s pay you silly boy!” We would have all laughed and I still would have got a replacement check.

Ugh. Learn from my mistake people. It’s not worth upsetting your precious little child for a stupid check.

Yesterday at Shane’s and Suzy’s, we celebrated Lorelai’s 2nd birthday. We had a really good time and it was a bummer when we had to leave. Right as we started singing happy birthday to Lorelai, Joshua came running toward us with the most frightened cry I have heard from him. He was terrified looking as I grabbed him and held him. It seems that he felt that Mommy and Daddy had just got up and left him behind as he was playing.

Boy, I felt so bad for the poor little guy. He was really scared and just sobbing. I just cuddled him while Liz sat close next to me and reassured him that we would never leave him. He calmed down within a few minutes and settled in just fine to daddy’s lap when it was time for cake.

Last night while with the cousins on the land, Sarah and Joshua were talking about God. Sarah, his three year old cousin, informed Joshua tha God did not have legs. This sparked thought into our sons little mind and he replied to Sarah, “Ya, that means God doesn’t wear pants.” Yup, that’s what it means.

Since I am such a clean freak, I avoid public bathrooms as much as possible. Now that I have children, avoiding them has become very difficult. Last night was one such night at Denny’s. Katelyn suggested having French Toast for dinner and feeling like we could do this treat, for the first time ever, for dinner, we went to eat breakfast for dinner while mommy stayed home trying to rest and regain her strength from her illness.

After the conclusion of our dinner (I did have dinner,) I had to take Joshua to the bathroom to clean him up. I think he had more syrup on his hands and arms and shirt then he applied to the sticks that he ingested. After cleaning him all up, he walked away from the sink while I dried my hands. When I glanced back at Joshua after throwing away my paper towel, I saw him walking toward the urinel. I said to my two year old son, “Joshua, don’t touch the toilet.” I turned to throw away my last towel and when I turned back, he swiped a finger on the edge of the urinel! I was too late with my, “Noooo!” which triggered him to cry and then, yup, put that very finger in his mouth!! Yucky! Ugh!! I ran to him, yanked his finger out of his mouth and ran him over to the sink and short of putting the entire bottle of soap on his hand, I cleansed him for all of his life.

Man, was I disgusted. Ugh, it grosses me out just thinking about it now! Can you believe it? Man, totally gross. Fortunately, he’s fine and clean. Will he be alive tomorrow morning? I don’t know. ;
)

Originally posted on The Dad’s Group

Since I’m on limited bandwidth here in Lake Tahoe, I’ll be short in what we did today. We did go on a wonderful horse drawn buggy ride through South Lake Tahoe and it was awesome. We got some great history about the lake and the area and a nice conversation with the “driver”.

When we got home from our awesome German dinner at a local Swiss restaurant, we went swimming. Joshua has been somewhat hesitant in going in the pool beyond his waist. Tonight, however, he enjoyed me yanking him in quickly that would create a nice large wave. At one point, he actually fell forward and got his head under water before I caught him and brought him back up for air. Not wanting to freak him out or anything, I started laughing and saying, “Wow, you went under like daddy. High five!” He responded perfectly and returned the laughter and said, “I want to do that again!” So what does any good daddy do? He listens to his sons request and dunks him under. This went on for a while before I had to put a stop to it since I figured he had ingested enough water. So we just did other fun pool stuff and in the end, my son took the water like his daddy did 33 years ago.

We’ve been trying to teach Joshua manners and how to politely ask for things. Since he’s only 2 1/2, he doesn’t really get it until reminded. But hey, we try to give the kid hints when he forgets which usually go unnoticed. Such as today at lunch, Joshua kept asking me for Apple-Grape juice. He continued, “I want Apple-Grape juice, daddy.” I finally replied, “You want Apple-Grape juice, what Joshua?” He gladly elaborated and said, “I want more Apple-Grape juice in my cup, daddy.”

Ya, we have a little more work to do.

Originally posted on The Dad’s Group

At about 11:00 in the morning today, I received a call on my brand new Samsung i730 PDA Smartphone. I was at a client call helping the desperate gentleman get his DSL to install on his aging Windows98 machine. When I answered in my professional work voice, I was answered by my wife crying telling me of a horrible accident Joshua had just been involved in. I could here him crying in the background as Liz told me, “there’s blood all over him.”

I ask her to tell me what happening and to calm down. She explained that Joshua had fallen on the train table face first cutting himself on his face and in his mouth. She was pretty shook up and asked me to come home immediately. I told her I would and hung up and finished up with what I was doing and left.

When I got home, Liz, Joshua, and Katelyn were cuddled up on the chair by the window and computer. Joshua was all cut up and his blood was on Liz’s white shirt. They all looked bad but Katelyn. She had been the calm in the storm of madness helping Liz get ice for Joshua and holding it on his swollen chin. She was our helper in the time of need.

When I looked at Joshua, I could tell he was going to have pretty beat up looking face. He had three scratches. One on his upper right lip, one on his right cheek, and one on his chin. Liz said he was bleeding from his mouth, too, so I suspect he bit his inner cheek and left a scratch in there, too. His chin was also very swollen and very blue. He was banged up, but seemed fine.

When I knew he was fine later in the day, I realized that this was just pretty much the beginning of having a boy. Our 2 and a half year old boy was beginning his travels upon the road of injury. I started when I was about three and continued to make yearly visits to the hospital well into junior high school. Guess I need to gas up the car and map out the emergency room.

Originally posted on The Dad’s Group

Tonight while eating our wonderfully nutritious Taco Bell dinner when Joshua requested some more mild sauce for his cheese quesadilla. Noting that he had a good amount already available on his chin to the point of nearly dripping off, I answered him, “Wipe it from your chin, Josh. There’s plenty there.” He took his triangle piece of tortilla filled with melted cheese and Taco Bell’s secret sauce and wiped his chin clean of the reddish sauce upon his skin as told. Wow, what an obedient boy! ) He then took a bite happily and when he finished he then once more asked, “More sauce, please.” This time I had to squeeze some from a packet.

Originally posted on The Dad’s Group